I Miss You Daddy!

Today is my Daddy's Birthday...crazy I still call him daddy huh? Well today would have been my fathers 71st birthday! I can't believe its been three years since he has been gone. Its really errie now that I think about it. Growing up my father always used to say.."Jaret I am not always going to be around" or "Jaret don't be afraid of death because each day you live is a day closer to death!" Kinda morbid to tell your child huh? But that was James Edward Parker...by the time I was born he was in his 40's and through raising kids so he raised a little adult in me! My father and my relationship was a tumultious one to say the least...many times I did not like him but always loved him! I remember growign up thinking and questioning "why does he treat me like this?"or "Why does he do that?" "Why can't he see things from my point of view?" But as I reached young adult hood and began doing things on my own and he recognized I was becoming a young man I remember he told me..."I know I don't have to worry about you when you go out on your own!" which meant a lot to me because all my life I was trying to find a way for he and I to connect on a deeper level and I think thats when it began. I just wish he was able to actually see me be the man I am today! I know he was proud of me and is probably watching me now and still proud of mebut I still wish he was here. What makes it even crazier is that I never thought I looked like my father growing up but I guess when I became a full fledged man my fathers genes just took over! I laugh like him, I have mannerisms like him, I look like him, I use the same sayings that he does, I share the same philosphy's as he did, and even went into the same field as he did. Dad wasn't Healthcliff Huxtable but what I do appreciate is that through the rough times in our life he allowed me to 1st hand witness all the struggles and the pain he went through, even if it was too much for a young child to be subjected to. Through those experiences I am able to say that there is NOTHING in my mind that I cannot go through and survive. Some people didn't have a father growing up, my siblings included, but I had my dad for 24 years of my life and thats more than some can say. I am still trying to come to terms with everything although I still seem to block out a lot in fear of having to deal with it 1st hand but on this day I celebrate my father James Edward Parker aka JP to the throves of people who loved him! I miss you daddy and will cherish all the good memories that I had with you.